The God I just can't Understand

I dont question God's existence. I have seen God through the perfection of the universe, nature and even science.
I just dont understand him or her. God is so strange. Preachers judge people if they get sick, religious people tend to judge people's reality because of their actions.

I dont understand God. Is not the suffering of people, or the fact that many religious people are having such terrible diseases. Is the fact that God is very strange. It seems to me that God helps when he/she wants to do it or God just doesn't help when he/she does not want to.

There was a kid from church in Socorro, Colombia. He was nice, quiet, good boy, very faithful, young, very religious, active in church. He died apparently of Cancer. I saw the news on Facebook and it shocked me. Why such an active christian would die like this? why God dint heal him? why does God choose to heal some but others not? Those questions filled my mind

I am angry with God sometimes. Why to trust God and be very active spiritually. I am in both sides: I want to run away from God and I desperately need God. There is a lack of the love of God that I need now.

God you are very difficult. I stopped thinking about many things because you just don't make sense and that is why I am angry at you at this moment.

What some people feel. Some people fight with God and are angry at him

Spiritual Earthquakes!

I havent published reflections lately. From the last time I published my spiritual life has gotten colder. My dear grandma passed away. It seems when death comes to the ones I love I tend to move away from God. My girlfriend and I found a nice mega church that we go to. Is hard because I go to church on saturday and then the following weeks I start to have a bunch of trial and tribulation. Today I experienced spiritual harships in the form of increased sexual desire. I wanted to sleep with all possible women I saw in the street. After struggling for a while and having many thoughts I kind of looked up and ask God for help. It did relieved me a little.

I came back to work and everything was fine. I was scanning some documents and we felt the floors were shaking. One of my cowrkers suggested that it might be an earthquake and we just dismiss it. 10 seconds later there was a real and heavy earthquake of magnitude 6.6. I ran very fast to get out of that building, I was very nervous and worry about all my family and girlfriend. After being sure that I was safe, I approached the few people that were outside with me and told them to go to the nearest park. Fortunately the earthquake had just ended.

There are times in life where you have spiritual earthquakes in life. You want to go out and be safe. You want to feel quiet and at peace. The only way to really be safe when a spiritual earthquake is happening in your life is to look up and pray to God.

figure 1. Picture of people outside a Colombian building after the earthquake.

Note: In case of a physical earthquake please refer to the following link for the recommended actions: http://www.google.org/publicalerts/alert?aid=fff1aa5bf029a7ae&hl=en&gl=CO&source=web